tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57500867855689879612024-03-13T06:14:21.364-07:00Walking Together: Thoughts of a Hospice ChaplainMark Ellingson, Chaplain of Altru Health System's Hospice, reflects on life and faith as he walks alongside patients who are nearing end of life. Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-39698365246764010562016-10-06T11:40:00.001-07:002016-10-06T11:40:38.467-07:00TimeTime is a funny thing. Something you are going to do tomorrow, becomes next week and then next year. It's now next year.<br />
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I haven't posted in this blog for over a year. My job changed and I moved (though not so far). And, instead of being a "Hospice Chaplain" I am now a "Chaplain Manager." <br />
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So, here's a new post. But who will read it? <br />
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Isn't that one reason many things in our lives fall by the wayside? We wait for a while and then enough time goes by that we wonder, "Does it even matter anymore?" I meant to send that thank-you note, but now it is so much later -- so won't it seem strange?<br />
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There are a couple of lessons for me to learn.<br />
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First, if something is valuable, do it now. I like to write. If for no other reason, that should get me to blog. If you (assuming there is a "you" out there) happen to read it, so much the better.<br />
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Second, let's try to avoid "decision by neglect." I had a stack of papers on my desk which I thought I should do <em>something </em>about, but decided to do that something another day. Recently I threw almost all of them away. Any that might have been interesting were past. <br />
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I probably sound like I'm talking about blogs or paperwork or mail. Try applying this to our relationships. <em>If something is valuable, do it now.</em> It's not hard to think about the words we should have said to another person. Or how about <em>decision by neglect. </em>I meant to do something. But eventually the friendship just goes away or our marriage gets weaker not because of anything we've actually decided but because the decision was made by our neglect. Ouch.<br />
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Anyway, if anyone is reading, thanks. Expect to hear more from me in the coming days. You may not need it, but I do.<br />
<br />Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-18888411456608677802015-01-26T12:34:00.003-08:002015-01-26T12:34:53.895-08:00Fun as Part of Life<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Segoe UI'; font-size: 13px; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> So, are you ready? You know, for <i>National Have Fun at Work Day </i>which is Wednesday, January 28. This is not to be confused with the <i>International Have Fun at Work Day </i>which is April 1. We know what kind of one-sided fun that would be.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> Perhaps you are wondering if “Have Fun at Work” is a real day. Well, the government didn’t establish it and, obviously, you won’t get off work to celebrate but you will find it listed on the various web sites which list “National Days of.” <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> It seems to me we should ask fewer questions and get around to planning the fun we wish to have. If you look at the various web sites or articles about <i>Fun at Work </i>day most of the suggestions are for what bosses or others in charge should do to make the day one of, well, of fun. But that’s wrong. Fun, it seems to me, doesn’t come from the top down, but from all of us. <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> So, what shall we do for fun?<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> I know that some would feel that a fun day at work would mean doing nothing. Well, I’m sorry to spoil the fun, but <i>National Do Nothing Day </i>is past, having come and gone on January 16 (a real non-event, if you ask me).<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> Others might suggest parties or food or games. Well, there’s a time for all of that (<i>April 3</i>, according to the web), but I’m not sure parties always mean fun. Truth is, when I go to a party at work there’s always a little someone in the back of my mind saying, “Hey, when are you going to get your work done?”<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> Should we tell more jokes or stories (yes, there is a <i>National Joke Day – August 16)</i>. Hey, I like stories and please feel free to send me something funny or enjoyable. But a whole day of that? Pass.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> <i>National Fun at Work </i>day faces the same problem as <i>Mother’s Day. </i>There’s something wrong if we honor moms only one day a year, right? And if we have fun only once at work that might not be enough to keep us working. <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> So, here’s my plan. I will see what fun can be had on January 28. But I am not waiting until then to enjoy life at work. Nor will I stop afterward. I need joy, some fun and folks to share it with. This, of course, comes from a man who works with Altru’s Hospice where sickness and death are daily. Some might wonder how there can be any fun at work.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> I was visiting an elderly gentleman. He told me, “I want to die.” He didn’t want to continue to live in his now old and sick body. I nodded and didn’t try to talk him out of his view. A minute or so later he talked about doctors. “All these different kinds of doctors,” he said, “I just call them all doctors. Even the windshield doctor.” As he said this I saw the twinkle in his eye and a little start of a smile as he looked at me to make sure I got it. I did. <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> No, this man didn’t want to live like this much longer. But he still lived with a bit of fun even at that. And, when he leaves this world for the next I will remember he has what he wanted. But I will also remember his view of doctors. And a little smile will come back to my face. Life always has a little fun. Let’s live it that way. </span></span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-43269844400165804392015-01-14T19:12:00.000-08:002015-01-14T19:12:59.359-08:00Miss G<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Segoe UI'; font-size: 13px; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I work with Altru’s Hospice. A person may come under hospice care only when a doctor confirms a terminal diagnosis of six months or less. So I am well-acquainted with dying, so much so that some people ask me how I handle it. I have moments when what I do “gets to me,” but generally I find the privilege and what I receive is greater than what I give.<u></u><u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> But let me tell you about a death that <i>is</i> nagging at me. I remember her as Miss G (though she later married), who taught speech and drama at my high school. I talked to her a couple of times after graduating, but not for many years. I heard, just weeks ago, that she had died. She was in her sixties, which is too young but not quite tragic. She wasn’t family, or someone I regularly (or even occasionally) saw. So why does it bug me?<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I know that one reason is the pleasant memories and feelings brought to my memory. There were speech tournaments and one act plays. She cast me as the principal in <i>Up the Down Staircase </i>and asked me to be the MC at the coronation of football royalty. Truth is I probably had one of those teen-age crushes on her.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> From where I stand now I realize how important a part Miss G played in my life. She talked me into doing speech and drama and helped me to practice some of the gifts given to me by God. Gifts I use regularly, if differently, now. She helped crack the shell I lived within to give me confidence as a speaker, a student and as a person. <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> And I never got to tell her. <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> There. That’s it. I would like to say <i>Thank-you</i>, but I’ve missed the chance. If I had sent her a note or given her a call to say some of this, I think the memory would be almost wholly positive. <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> So, why am I writing this? Obviously I want everyone who reads these words to feel guilty about the people you haven’t thanked and your failures to appreciate others! Actually, that’s <i>not </i>why. No matter how many thank-you notes we send there will always be another <i>Miss G </i>which we might miss. Guilt is no good. I don’t want to emphasize the negative. Let’s go the other way.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Every time we seek out a Miss G and show a little appreciation we change our lives and the world. In a very real sense this showing of thanks is almost more for us than for those we thank. Doesn’t showing appreciation make you feel good? Doesn’t unexpectedly showing someone thanks make it feel almost like Christmas? I have a file of little thank-you notes I’ve received. I might forget what gifts I received at Christmas, but those little words on paper refresh my soul. <u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Today is a day of opportunity for me and for you. There are people close to us and some who now live far away who deserve a little thank-you. We will never get to all of them. But what fun, and what positive energy, comes when we show appreciation to just one.<u></u><u></u></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Oh, I just checked and another favorite teacher and coach, Mr. T, is still living and I have his address. Now, where are those thank-you notes … ?</span></span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-51559072384358565922014-11-04T06:06:00.000-08:002014-11-04T06:06:02.567-08:00Learning to Discuss<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: 'Segoe UI'; font-size: 13px; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Two men were having a rather heated discussion while a third watched from a distance. After a bit the two shook hands and went their separate ways. One of the men was a friend of the third and walked up to him. The watcher commented, “You two were having quite a discussion, but you seemed to end it well. What happened?”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">“Oh, we were arguing about which candidate is best,” said the fellow, “but we agreed in the end that we would only cancel each other’s vote and decided not to vote at all.” The man looked a little sheepish.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">“What’s wrong?” said the third, “you look a bit guilty.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">“Well,” admitted the man, “I’ve made that same deal with four other people already.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">There are certain things that everyone hates. <i>Fingernails on a chalkboard or squeaking on a balloon. Rain on a picnic day.Mosquitoes. But most of all, political commercials.<u></u><u></u></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><i></i>I have never heard someone say, “I really like the political commercials because they help me decide how to vote.” And, yet, they must work to some degree because some very smart people spend lots of money on them.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">These issues and these candidates are important and it is wise to know something about the issues. But I’m not writing this to comment on any specific issue or on politics at all. Instead I’m thinking about how we go about discussing issues of any kind.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Think about the following comments (which I’ve heard in various versions from people or in commercials):</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">“All Republicans/Democrats/<wbr></wbr>Conservative/Liberals are idiots.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">“A person would have to be crazy to vote yes/no on that issue.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">“Everything so-n-so says is just a lie.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">I could go on. Do any of those things encourage a discussion? I don’t think so. They are what were called “Killer Phrases” at Altru Health System's Healthcare Horizons event. They stop everything and folks scatter or rush to change the subject.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Now, move from politics to work or family life, to community events or church. Doesn’t this happen all the time? We start to discuss an issue of any kind, but someone (maybe us!) says something which ends the discussion.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">We know Killer Phrases when we hear them. Usually they are emotional and bring out emotional responses. Often they are attacks upon a person or group of persons. Sometimes they are <i>meant</i> to stop discussion.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">A spouse says to her husband, “You keep our bedroom and your clothes like you are a 10-year-old.” Now, that’s probably true. But isn’t the goal to improve things and not just start an emotional argument?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">At work someone says, “The management isn’t very bright and they don’t understand us.” Notice how broad a brush is used. Again there is a personal attack and this one is topped off by including everyone in whether they agree or not “they don’t understand <i>us.’” </i>There may be real issues to discuss, but this doesn’t call for discussion but renders a final verdict.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">We could keep going to talk about issues at home or at the gym or with extended family. But step one in stopping Killer Phrases is clear: <i>Try to avoid saying any. </i>Let’s ask ourselves if what we want to say will help discussion or end it. Will our words heighten emotions or focus on issues? Can we disagree in an agreeable sort of way? Who knows, maybe we will find out something we didn’t know before? Maybe we’ll even understand an issue better or change our mind. Miracles do happen, you know.</span></span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-32450902304039104012014-03-21T05:54:00.000-07:002014-03-21T05:54:37.655-07:00Joy and Sorrow Hand in Hand
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I attend a lot of funerals. I suspect I attend more funerals, prayer services and visitations than almost anyone. Many funeral bulletin or folders have little verses inside of them. I will have to confess that I'm not impressed by too many of them. </div>
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Some of these short poems are a little shallow or speak as if grief isn't the powerful force that I know it to be. Some even offend me a bit such as those which speak of God needing an angel and that's why this person died. I'd rather not blame God. </div>
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But, I don't think I should be able to criticize without trying to do something myself. So, here's my attempt at a funeral verse. </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Joy and Sorrow Hand in Hand</b></div>
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Life is my Savior’s gift from the Father above,</div>
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Where I find joy in family, job and human love.</div>
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But with the joy came sad events I hadn’t planned</div>
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So I discovered that sorrow and joy walk hand in hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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As a child I saw life as an adventure to explore,</div>
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I had sandbox fun, loved friends and so much more.</div>
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Yet early on came illness, pain and troubles to the sand,</div>
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In my youth I learned sorrows and joys walk hand in hand.</div>
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I found one to marry, and we had kids to boot.</div>
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What happiness there was as our family took root!</div>
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But death came too, and problems to our family band,</div>
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Which mixed together sorrow and joy, walking hand in hand.</div>
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And now I’m gone, I’ve died, don’t be afraid of the word.</div>
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For I still have life, eternal life and the joy of which
you’ve heard.</div>
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You will mourn, you must, but laugh as well for living
demands,</div>
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That we all realize joy and sorrow always walk hand in
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So treasure our shared memories and enjoy every single one</div>
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Forget not the sorrows of life for they show how much we’ve
done.</div>
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This is not the end, we will once again together stand,</div>
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But for you, for a moment, sorrow and joy continue hand in
hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-18475505514343633812014-02-21T17:09:00.001-08:002014-02-21T17:09:12.733-08:00Winter BluesFIVE DEVOTIONALS SHARED FOR CALL-IN WITHIN THE ALTRU SYSTEM. THE SUBJECT IS "WINTER BLUES."<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><b>1.<span> </span>Take a moment to pause and reflect … about the blues</b>.<span> </span>Perhaps you have heard of “Blue Monday” which happened back on <span class="aBn" data-term="goog_585480814"><span class="aQJ"><span style="color: #222222;">January 6</span></span></span>.<span> </span>According to a British sort-of study that’s the most depressing day of the year.<span> </span>Christmas is over, regular workdays are starting again and there’s nothing to look forward to.<span> </span>Another media outlet, by the way, says the big day for the blues is the Monday after Martin Luther King day, which was January 27 this year.<span> </span>That’s about the time the credit card bills for holidays shopping come in the mail.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span><span> </span>Personally, I don’t know why we pick on Mondays or on January.<span> </span>We can feel blue anytime.<span> </span>Yes, the snow and the cold are hard on us and can contribute.<span> </span>But there is also the depression of finding that spring and summer still contain the same problems we faced in winter.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">This week, let’s talk about the blues during these devotionals.<span> </span>I’ve almost used my whole one minute for today, so let me give you one quick thought which might help.<span> </span>Feeling blue is normal.<span> </span>Everyone has the blues sometime.<span> </span>So don’t make it worse by beating up on yourself because you think it only happened to you.<span> </span>As the Bible says, “The rain (or the snow) falls on the just and the unjust alike.”<span> </span>Everyone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">Let’s pray:<span> </span>“Gracious God, thank-you for being with us when we are blue and when we are bursting with excitement.<span> </span>Whatever the day may bring, Lord, lead, guide and strengthen us.<span> </span>In your name.<span> </span>Amen.”</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span>2.<span> </span>Take a moment to pause and reflect … on winter blues. </span><u></u><u></u></span></span></b></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> <span> </span>Let’s see, someone is feeling blue, down and depressed. It seems that you get up and have coffee just like always, but the feeling remains. You watch the same programs on TV and sit in the same chair as before but the blueness doesn’t go away.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> <span> Hmmm. </span>One suggestion. Try something different. I’m not suggesting change for change sake, but try moving around instead of sitting. Some folks call that exercise and doctors have been known to suggest it makes a difference for winter, or any other kind of blues. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span><span>Instead of watching the same programs as before, try something different. I don’t mean just change the channel. Go out to a movie, and not alone. Call a friend and ask how they are doing. Read a book. But something new and engaging.</span></span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> <span> </span>You heard about the farmer who said he could never visit his neighbors, “because the ruts in the road only lead me back home.” Yes, I’m thinking of the old cliché, “Get out of the rut.” There’s nothing magical about this, but something different and positive can’t hurt. And, by calling a friend for example, even if you don’t help yourself you might help someone else. </span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> <span> </span>Jesus says in the Bible that a person should never put new wine in old wineskins. They will be stiff and break. Put new wine in new wineskins. In terms of the blues, put your hope for a new attitude, perspective and life in a new wineskin – a new and flexible way of doing things.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> <span> </span>Let us pray. “Thank-you God for walking with me during difficult things. Help us to find ways to return joy to our hearts. Amen.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><b>3.<span> </span>Take a moment to pause and reflect … about the blues</b>.<span> </span>We all feel blue sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with that.<span> </span>But what can we do about it?<span> </span>The psalmist has an idea.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">In Psalm 42 we read these words:<span> </span>“Why are you so downcast, O my soul?<span> </span>Why so disturbed within me?”<span> </span>The writer is talking to himself.<span> </span>But even more curious, he is asking himself questions.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Actually that’s a good place to start as we deal with the blues.<span> </span>What is really making us blue?<span> </span>Perhaps we’d say it is because we are grieving a loved one.<span> </span>Yes, but what about the loved one is on your mind?<span> </span>Maybe we’d say, “I just miss having coffee with him/her each morning.”<span> </span>If we know what triggers the blue feeling we can understand it and make some plans.<span> </span>Maybe at coffee time in the morning, we have a picture album to do some remembering.<span> </span>Maybe that’s a good time to call a good friend or write a note to a grandson.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">I don’t have a prescription, but the Psalmist knew and I know that we can better deal with problems, stresses or the blues if we know what they are.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">So, talk to yourself – “Soul, why are you down today?<span> </span>What’s really on the mind?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">And, then, as the Psalmist did, take it to prayer.<span> </span>The Psalmist said, “Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him.”<span> </span>Let us pray.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">Gracious God, you do know us better than we know ourselves.<span> </span>Help us to see what’s going on in our spirit.<span> </span>And, once we know, help us to give it to you.<span> </span>Amen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><b>4.<span> </span>Take a moment to pause and reflect … about the blues</b>.<span> </span>On Monday we learned the blues are normal.<span> </span>On Tuesday, we thought about doing something different.<span> </span>Wednesday, we learned to talk to our spirit to see what is actually going on in our life.<span> </span>Today, I’d like to suggest that the blues are a good thing.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>Wait, you might protest, I don’t want to be depressed.<span> </span>Don’t get me wrong.<span> </span>Chronic, long-term depression is one thing and it should be treated.<span> </span>Occasional or even fairly frequent feelings of blues can be positive.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>I thought of this during Christmas when I shared at more-than-one “Blue Christmas” service.<span> </span>When we were gathered remembering and grieving loved ones, supporting and caring about one another and asking God for help, what was the rest of the world doing?<span> </span>Madly running about trying to fill their wishes for a Merry Christmas by spending much and hurrying here and there.<span> </span>Which one is better?<span> </span>Which one will give you more satisfaction?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>You see, when we are blue, we slow down, focus (or CAN focus) on important things and have an opportunity to think through our priorities.<span> </span>And any blue “tears” we shed might be followed by a genuine smile at the good things in our life which we can think about during our blues.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>Psalm 46 starts by talking about “trouble” in the first verse but ends with the familiar “Be Still and know I am God.”<span> </span>When I’m blue, I’m more likely to be still and more likely to find lasting joy in the God I serve.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>“Gracious God, use the times I slow down and feel blue to help me grow and find real peace in you.<span> </span>Amen.<span> </span><span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><b>5.<span> </span>Take a moment to pause and reflect … about the blues</b>.<span> </span><span> </span>I heard, one time, about an experiment done with a Northern Pike.<span> </span>A Northern is a very aggressive fish and it loves to eat.<span> </span>The experiment put a Northern on one side of a large aquarium and a smaller fish, perhaps a perch on the other.<span> </span>A clear glass window was in between.<span> </span>The Northern, of course, attacked but slammed into the glass instead of getting its jaws on the perch.<span> </span>This happened several times until the Northern got the message – the perch is unavailable.<span> </span>And the Northern stopped trying.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>After a bit the experimenters withdrew the separating glass.<span> </span>The perch was very available and the two eventually swam right next to each other.<span> </span>But the message was still with the Northern – it’s not available.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>I wonder if that doesn’t happen to us.<span> </span>For whatever reason we are blue and it lasts long enough that we begin to wonder if we can ever again be happy … or laugh … or be joyful.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>Back to our friend, the Northern.<span> </span>I wonder – could he ever eat again?<span> </span>Did he just give us and starve?<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>Hey, let’s not give up.<span> </span>There is joy to be had and a smile can again be felt.<span> </span>Don’t give into the idea, “Hey I can never be happy again.”<span> </span>That’s what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>King David writes in Psalm 30, “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.”<span> </span>Yes, it’s possible.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>“Gracious God, we get dis-encouraged so easily.<span> </span>Help us to see all the good things which are still possible for us, we ask in your name, Amen.”</span></span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-69164084689940298002013-12-20T18:12:00.002-08:002013-12-20T18:12:38.261-08:00Christmas and Feeling Blue<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">A Christmas Greeting from Altru’s Hospice<span> Chaplain <wbr></wbr> </span>Christmas 2013</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>I am Altru’s Hospice Chaplain so I work with terminally ill patients.<span> </span>But please don’t stop reading.<span> </span>I promise I won’t just depress you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>In my work and outside of work I hear folks talking about one person or another with a serious disease who might soon leave this earth.<span> </span>And caring folks will often say, “I hope Fred doesn’t die during Christmas.<span> </span>It will be so hard on the family. It will ruin Christmas for them.”<span> </span>I never know what exactly to say to that.<span> </span>What’s hard is not the season but the fact we are losing someone precious. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>So this might surprise you.<span> </span>If I could choose when I leave this earth, I think I would pick Advent and the Christmas season.<span> </span>Why?<span> </span>I want to hear (and want my family to hear) about “Joy to the world” because the Lord has come.<span> </span>I would like to have someone sing “Silent Night” at my bedside (if there is time) because my leaving this earth is a “Holy Night” for my soul.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>My family knows how I think about these things and, I believe, they would find time to remember how dad/grandpa enjoyed Christmas.<span> </span>And they would hear my voice in their minds saying, “Have fun with each other.<span> </span>Go ahead and be sad that we are apart, but have joy you are together!”</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>Do you feel sadness or grief during this year?<span> </span>Could you agree with what Elvis sang, “I’ll have a blue Christmas without you”?<span> </span>I’ve come to think that our blue feelings are normal, nothing to be ashamed of and perhaps a better way to keep Christmas.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>I was at several “Blue Christmas” events this year.<span> </span>Each time I thought what I could be doing instead – rushing here and there, buying stuff and worrying about whether my Christmas Cards were done.<span> </span>Instead I was gathered with a small group of people remembering and honoring our precious loved ones who have left this life for the next.<span> </span>We were worshipping the Christ of Christmas and asking for His help.<span> </span>We were reflecting on what is important to us: people, values and faith.<span> </span>Those are good things to do!<span> </span>We should take some satisfaction that we honored Christmas by doing them.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>I know many people have had grief and losses well beyond measure and certainly beyond what I have experienced.<span> </span>Even the Christmas story tells us about that kind of pain. <span> </span>Can you imagine what it was like for Mary to be an unmarried pregnant teenager who knew she’d done nothing wrong?<span> </span>Or, think about the burden of everyone going to their own town to be counted so the king could better tax them.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>And, after the wise men came to see the Christ and left without reporting back to Herod, do you remember what he did?<span> </span>Hoping to kill the Christ, he ordered every boy under two in Bethlehem to be slaughtered.<span> </span>The words of Matthew 2:18 echo for me, “A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning.<span> </span>Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted because they are no more.”<span> </span>Horrible.<span> </span>But even for these parents there can be some help, some comfort when they finally accept it.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>This Christmas let’s not pretend we have no troubles or grief. If you feel “blue” don’t feel guilty about it or try to pretend you have the “Christmas spirit.”<span> </span>Be honest about the pain. But also remember the joy, the presence of people who love us and the Lord who came to earth for us and faced pain, hurt and hardship just for you and me.<span> </span>At Christmas, most of all times, joy and sorrow walk hand in hand.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>Have a blessed season.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> <wbr></wbr> <wbr></wbr> </span>Mark Ellingson</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> <wbr></wbr> <wbr></wbr> </span>Altru’s Hospice Chaplain</span></span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-56884583054094526062013-11-12T20:01:00.001-08:002013-11-12T20:01:19.744-08:00Better<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Word for the Day</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Today’s Word:<span> </span><i>Better</i></span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">Two men are walking in the woods when they come face-to-face with a bear. The bear growls and charges and the two men turn and run. </span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">The first man says to the second, “You know you can’t outrun a bear, don’t you?”</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">The second man replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.”</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">We might snicker at this story. Yet there is truth we might see all over in real life, whether or not we meet a bear. When there is trouble, struggles in the economy or stresses at work, people might think just that way. “If I can just stay ahead of that person, or that department, the trouble will stay away from me (‘I’ll outrun the bear’).” </span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">The world has many places of economic pressure. We hear about such places on the television, but those are far away. Even the United States is encountering troubles, but mostly somewhere else. But there comes a time when our company or our family has to deal with difficulties. Here at Altru Health System where I work and in Health Care in general we live in times when many things, maybe all things, are changing. Reimbursements are in flux, the old way of doing business is questioned and there is pressure on all Health Care Institutions. The bear is no longer chasing someone else.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">We all worry. So it is pretty easy to think the best thing is to outrun the next guy to escape the bear. For example, many hospitals don’t have Altru’s commitment to spiritual care and willingly cut chaplain services. After all chaplains don’t bandage wounds or prescribe medications!<span> </span>Let’s all be slow to point fingers at someone/something which we think might be appetizing to the bear.<span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">The greatest problem with trying to outrun others is that we don’t think or work on real solutions. Bears are pretty impressive animals. But we humans, when we work together, can make good plans and perhaps even tame the bear altogether. Perhaps these three simple questions will help. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><b><i><span>How can you/I be better? </span></i></b><span><span> </span>OI know that question sounds like code for “Work harder! Work longer!”<span> </span>Well, that’s not what I’m thinking. Often we can get better not by doing more, but by doing less in a better way. In fact, if we push our hours and fail to take care of ourselves with time off, eating well and getting sleep – well, our work will suffer. I’ve been thinking I need to set aside a small amount of time to do important tasks (like writing) which can get lost in my hurry. Funny thing, for me, writing helps me do other things better.<span> </span>What makes you better?<span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><b><i><span>How can you/I help others be better? </span></i></b><span>What do you think about the two men I started with? Are they still friends, assuming they both got away from the bear? Not likely. It’s a very simple fact of life. When we work with only our own self in mind we don’t make others better, actually don’t do our job well and rarely get our own needs met. But when we work together for the common good, our own good also is improved!</span></span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">Think of those you work with. How could you help them? How could you improve your workspace? I suppose there’s a multitude of ways, but they mostly start with our attitude. Our outlook on life is contagious, whether it is good and positive, or fearful and negative. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><b><i><span>How can you/I help the Organization be better? </span></i></b><span>I am part of several organizations (and you probably are as well). When I was a local pastor I used to repeat the words of another preacher who said, “When you leave the church today, you are a walking advertisement for the church. It’s as if you are walking down the street with a sign which says, ‘Look at me.<span> </span>This is what the church is like.’” The same might be said of our work. I am always aware that anyone I see might soon be a patient, or the family member of a patient. I try to act accordingly.</span></span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;">What can you do to strengthen any of the groups to which you belong? What do your words say? What attitude do you carry from work? Do you speak about “they” and “them” or use the words “we” and “us”?<span> </span>And, remember, our thought-through input can make a difference! </span></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span> </span>I think in life we have a choice.<span> </span>We can fearfully try to outrun bears and other people, or we can work together to come up with the next good (maybe even great idea).<span> </span>I like the second way better.<span> </span></span></span></span></strong></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-81297071480194365792013-11-12T07:02:00.000-08:002013-11-12T07:02:01.733-08:00Word for the Day: Prepare.
I work primarily with Hospice Patients, people who can see the end of their life coming more clearly than the rest of us. So, I have heard the following phrase many times: "We had always planned on … " The phrase gets ended in many different ways. Some folks planned on taking a trip, or going on another honeymoon, or building on to their home, or something as simple as sorting through all the family snapshots. But you can tell by how the phrase begins that this hadn’t happened and maybe there’s just a bit of regret.
Plans are funny things. Have you ever looked at the “plans” for a building? The details, at least in some cases, are revealing. You can see the plan for every door, window and outlet. I suspect most so-called “plans” for our lives aren’t anywhere near that detailed. In fact, if we are honest, our plans mostly consist of talking about something(s) we’d like to do, mixed with a generous amount of wishful thinking. That’s why I think the word “preparation” is so important.
When we prepare we actually take some action step. If it is a trip, maybe we need a passport or a savings account set aside for travel. If we want to put our pictures in some order maybe we ought to buy some scrapbooks or just call the family together for a surprise “picture party.” The same thing happens at work, doesn’t it? We all want to have the best workplace ever and perhaps even talk about “plans” to make it that way. But those ideas fall to the wayside in the busy-ness of what we do.
How about picking one personal action step to make your workplace better?
Let me ask you a question. What are your actions leading toward? Is everything you do just looking to retirement and what we anticipate there? That’s a good place for planning. But what about all the days between now and then? Some folks waste a lot of life looking forward only to some time years in the future. So what is the focus of our preparation?
<b>Prepare to make the world a better place.</b> Wow, isn’t that abstract? But there’s truth there. What actions can we take to make the world more positive? What words would we say (or refrain from saying)? What would we do around work to make the environment more satisfying for more people?
<b>Prepare to grow great relationships.</b> When you make a list of “most important things” in your life your relationships with family, friends, God and others will likely be high on the list. What actions can we take to grow those relationships? We all have discovered that just being in the same place at the same time doesn’t always do the trick. Do we need time set aside for just talking at family gatherings? Do we need to find ways to connect at work?
<b>Prepare to be replaced.</b> There is an old truth: “Everyone can be replaced.” But there’s more to it. Everyone <i>will </i>be replaced … someday. There aren’t many better goals than to make the job easier, clearer and more positive for whoever will follow. What can you do about that?
I don’t know your plans or “wishful thinkings.” I do know that, in your life (your family, your work, everywhere) it is wise to make preparations for things good and bad. Make out your will and your advance directive. And whatever you would like to do ask this: what’s the first step? And then take it. Have no regrets. Make preparations instead of just plans. Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-44718664893199230262013-07-16T07:10:00.002-07:002013-07-16T07:10:18.012-07:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
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Today’s Word:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dwell<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Just last week I found something on Ebay which I very much wanted to buy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a used Badge a Minit button maker which sells for $400 new.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since the company will service these machines for free a used one is as good as a new one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bid sat at $70 and I would have paid $200 without hesitation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew I could sell it again as this one was poorly advertised (the owner didn’t know what he had).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I made a mental note of when the bidding would be done (about 5:00 pm the next day) and waited to put in my overall bid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I figured that if I put it in too early I would pay more than if I did just a few minutes before the bidding ended.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You know the problem, don’t you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s that “mental note” I made.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t use permanent ink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just a few minutes <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">after</i> the bidding finished I thought about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The machine sold for $90.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was frustrated, enough so that I had trouble concentrating on other things that night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I “dwelled” on the mistake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yes, I know what you might be thinking:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s just a machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s nothing you can do about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forget about it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But let’s be fair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you think of a time you did or didn’t do something?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it was words you meant to say or ones you regret.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps you missed a great concert or game or forgot some other thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you remember the frustration?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would you think if my first words were to you, “Just forget about it”?</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Of course we should forget about these things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But many of us relive them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If only I’d put in the bid earlier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If only I’d put an alarm on my phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We go over these events in our mind as if we can change them or somehow make them different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even over a button machine, we get distracted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Should it be any surprise to us that people have great trouble overcoming the regrets of life in bigger matters?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, we can really help them by pointing out, “You can’t do anything about it. She died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You got sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just forget it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, that doesn’t help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We humans are really rather smart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m even slightly smart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew my frustration wasn’t worth it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew I couldn’t change my bid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew what was past was past and could not be altered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it wouldn’t be very helpful for someone to point that out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What did I need?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And what do those with bigger troubles need?</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Patience.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose my spouse is the one who must endure this the most.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has learned that usually I will get through it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And most people will work through struggles when they have people around who will cut them some slack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A safe place to vent.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes voicing the frustration in a safe place (safe for me and for others) really does help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the early ways I fell in love with my wife was the way she listened to me after my dad died suddenly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She didn’t try to fix me or give me advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She listened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wisdom to draw the line.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, there does come a time to go back to life and not allow our small or big regrets to dominate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But sometimes a friend needs to remind me, doing so kindly as a person who is similarly faulted at times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Something to do.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a championship “dweller.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is, I can think and think about one thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One solution is to do something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it is something we can do about the regret (I’m watching Ebay for the next opportunity).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps it is something we enjoy (nothing fixes my life like playing tennis or watching “Castle” with my wife).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But doing clears out some faulty thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well, I feel better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My missed bid gave me something to write about and now it is (mostly) off my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I better go check Ebay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-60565648896944739692013-06-17T07:13:00.000-07:002013-06-17T07:13:02.584-07:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Word for the Day<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Today’s Word:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Self Esteem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Or is that two words?)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The brain is extraordinary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who can understand all the ways our brains work?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, research is revealing many of the brain’s secrets, as I learned at a workshop sponsored by the Institute for Brain Potential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Much of the workshop focused on people with high-conflict personalities and strategies to work with them and help them.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dr. Dennis Marikis, our presenter, told us up front that the most important interventions are “early interventions.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As he shared he got to talking about so-called self-esteem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“When a person receives nothing but praise this actually diminishes self.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only when a person recognizes their weaknesses can they feel good about themselves.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then our speaker put it another way, “Self-esteem is seeing that you ‘suck at’ some things and still feel valued.”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I got to thinking about the people I have worked with over my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the folks who were most unreasonable had never had to face their own failings and faults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the seminar we learned strategies for working with people like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’m not going to talk about “other people” here. Something else occurred to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wonder if we don’t first need to work with ourselves.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In my first “unit” of Clinical Pastoral Education I was confronted with my personal shyness and difficulty in saying “no.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my second unit I discovered just how much my relationship with my father affected me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it wasn’t until my fourth unit that I was shown once again just how much I craved affirmation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is totally human and we all need some affirmation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But seeking for “pats on the back” can get in the way of true self-confidence and even hinder doing good work!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all need to learn that it’s OK to not be good at everything and normal to mess up once in a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So think about yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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+Like me, you have some things you just don’t do well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My spouse doesn’t ever ask me to cook something unless she puts out specific and detailed instructions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the other hand I wash a mean load of clothes!</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>+Also, you probably have things you know you could do better and should do better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I listen to folks “on the job” pretty well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not sure my family always thinks I listen to them as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can improve my listening skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>+And even with some things we do well, we sometimes fail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe I offer good and appropriate spiritual support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there have been occasions I failed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s not something I like to admit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But even after failures I am valued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even (some) folks who helped point out my “areas needing improvement” still think I’m a quality person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, that’s true self-esteem.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We need … we all need … people who can say, “Hey, you messed up, didn’t you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m still glad you are on my team.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-74789308632693900612013-05-21T18:31:00.001-07:002013-05-21T18:31:22.067-07:00Death and Laughter<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Word for the Day<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Today’s Word:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Death.</i></div>
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WARNING:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are easily offended, stop reading now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I don’t remember very much from the very first funeral at which I officiated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The lady was elderly and I was only a pulpit fill preacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hadn’t been to any schooling or training.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Truth is, I really didn’t know what to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So … I was nervous.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The lady was in her 80s and her main relative was an 87 year old brother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before the service was to begin at the funeral home I gathered with the small family in a side room for prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When it was about time to start I said to the brother, “Are you ready to go?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just like he had been waiting for the chance, he smiled and said, “What, are you already looking for your next funeral?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told everyone, “The pastor wants to know if I’m ready to go too!”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I don’t remember much more, though I know it threw me off for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Death is serious business and as a young guy I thought we should approach it that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just wasn’t fully right.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The best and most healing funerals give us a chance to smile and remember, very often an opportunity to laugh about funny things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These days I look for the chance to bring a chuckle, appropriately – not with a silly joke, but with the foibles of life shown in a person we love, but have lost.</div>
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I recently attended a Broadway musical titled, “The Addams Family” based on the TV show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you remember the show, you know it had plenty of humor about death, dying, killing and torture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the musical, Morticia, the mother of the family had a fight with her husband and is distraught.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she remembers the one thing which can help and sings a song “Just Around the Corner.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s around the corner?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Death, and that makes her happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She even quips to the audience, “No, you don’t get it – just around the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">coroner</i>.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I laughed.</div>
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One basic way we handle difficult things in life is to laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One way to cut the big troubles of life down to size is to make fun of them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can imagine there are those who would be offended when we laugh at death or make fun of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we certainly have to have some wisdom about when and how.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Did you hear about the little boy who crawled up on his grandpa’s lap and asked, “Grandpa, when’s the game?”</div>
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“What game?” asked grandpa.</div>
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“The football game, the one you are playing in,” explained the boy.</div>
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“What makes you think I play football?” queried the grandfather.</div>
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“Well,” said the boy, “I heard mom and dad talking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They said when you kick off we’ll be on easy street.”</div>
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Funny?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dumb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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We need to laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to make fun of our mortality, even while we face it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And death, well, there is a time to make light and a time to be serious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need both.</div>
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One of my earliest experiences was the horrible and tragic death of two-year-old Ryan in a tractor accident.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But a few days later when all the farmers came over to put in the family’s crop, there was laughter in the house at something, who knows what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And mom said, “We haven’t heard laughter here for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s good.”</div>
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Laughing is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cutting death down to a size we can handle with faith or the funnies or both – well, that’s good too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-43574607446640003872013-05-14T13:58:00.005-07:002013-05-14T13:58:46.289-07:00Waiting as a Gift<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Word for the Day<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Today’s Word:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wait<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></i>I live a long half hour from my work at Altru’s Hospice and I know how much time to allow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Usually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But today I pull up to the town of <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Thompson</st1:place></st1:city> just as a train arrived and the arms came down across highway 15.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So I wait.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No one likes to wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At no time.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I have put items back on a shelf when the check-out lines would make me wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On a phone call we rarely enjoy the music because it means we are waiting!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We wait impatiently in traffic, at the doctor’s office and for the kitchen timer to announce “dinner time” with a ding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>People look at waiting as a necessary evil, at best, and something to avoided whenever possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That attitude stretches to other parts of life too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Youth don’t want to wait for intimacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As consumers folks buy now instead of waiting and saving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Commercials ask us, “Why wait when you can have it now?”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Remember – I’m waiting for the train at Thompson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t have a computer to put these thoughts to words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the waiting gave me time to think that we are looking at this all wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Waiting isn’t a problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Waiting is a gift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Please don’t misunderstand me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We shouldn’t think making someone wait for us is a gift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when are forced to wait, we are often forced to think and perhaps to think new thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We were buying a new television a few years back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw the and was ready to buy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my spouse wanted to wait and look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want to wait, didn’t wait and brought the set home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We ended up not liking it, and I had to wait in line at the store so I could explain why I was bringing it back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I only wonder at how many times I would have saved myself problems by simply waiting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Here’s some ideas to make your wait a gift!</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Contain the emotions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Often we don’t gain from waiting because we are upset we have to wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any value of giving thought to a problem or using the time to relax and re-think gets lost in our emotions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Recognize the feelings, accept your situation and open your mind.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ask a Question.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Questions are your greatest tool for learning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What is important to me today?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or “Who can I help today?” or “How can I learn from this?” or even "Why is waiting bothering me so much?"</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Enjoy the slow-down.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Frankly most of us are hurrying here and there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Slowing down for a moment or two during the day should be a good thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So enjoy it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Relax.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think, pray or meditate.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>… Oh, the train is about through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have to get back to focusing on my driving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it is amazing what can go through your mind during a short wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-11971622231209658242013-05-01T09:00:00.002-07:002013-05-01T09:00:51.601-07:00
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Word for the Day<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Today's Word: <st1:place w:st="on">Marathon</st1:place></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
horrible events in <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Boston</st1:place></st1:city>
have brought the word “marathon” to everyone’s mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For just a moment, let’s think about a
marathon, a race of over 26 miles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Perhaps
you are a runner and have even run a marathon, or half-marathon or 10k race.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But have you watched a marathon live?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My
two oldest boys and only daughter-in-law, Emily, run marathons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Emily hopes to run a marathon in every state
in the union and she has a good start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
went to watch them when they ran the Fargo Marathon last year.</div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Of
course, you don’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">watch</i> a marathon,
not live anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My wife, Betty, and I
drove to about the mid-point of the marathon course and found some parking near
a hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After walking our own little
mini-marathon to a good viewing spot, we gave couple of waves and cheers to our
marathoners and then walked back to our car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>An hour later we cheered again when our family crossed the finish
line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In
a race that is 26.2 miles long, we saw the runners for a few hundred feet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In an event that takes something like three
hours, we watched for a minute or two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was a single snapshot from a movie, a short glimpse of a longer
event.</div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Kind
of like life, I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>On
our walls are pictures of events.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But,
like the marathon, those events are part of a larger picture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The birth of my grandson is just one stop on
a journey which stretched back to when his parents married, and even to when
they met.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the journey heads forward
into an adventure yet unknown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
is so important to remember during the less-positive events of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the midst of disaster, or when we face
death, or during illness we must remember the marathon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These things are the focus of life right now,
but life is more than just those.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A
disaster comes and does damage, but the marathon of life has been proceeding
for long before and will go long after.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
“pictures” we experience of life, though dramatic, are not the whole
story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither the wonderful event or
the terrible one can erase what has happened before or prevent meaningful life
in the days to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That moment is
only a glimpse, a peek, a piece of the whole.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When
we “watched” the marathon, I walked a ways along the course against the
flow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A couple of blocks down I came
upon my son and daughter-in-law – walking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My son said, “We really were running just a minute ago.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure they were, and would be again.</div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Don’t
let the moment in time be the only thing you see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it is a good moment, treasure it, remember
it and build upon it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it is a tough
moment, remember all that came before and what will come afterward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The moment may hurt, and the hurt may last,
but there’s more to a marathon than one picture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-54320858305302904312013-03-27T14:35:00.001-07:002013-03-27T14:35:55.550-07:00The Trivializing of Death<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Word for the Day<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
Today's Word: Death<br />
<br />
Elizabeth Kubler Ross was perhaps the first to point out the American
dysfunctional view of death. Westerners simply didn't talk about death. In a
certain sense our world today has changed, but not necessarily for the better.
Today death is frequently mentioned. Consider all the television shows which
routinely have someone, or several someones, die. Death is something even
children frequently see.<br />
<br />
But there remains a problem. We have gone from ignoring death to
trivializing it. Television shows take us from tragedy to happiness all inside
an hour. It's as if death were no big thing and grief just a momentary bump on
the road.<br />
<br />
This made me think of one of the Old Testament "trivializer,"
Jonah. We might remember Jonah and the great fish which swallowed him. But what
got him there? God asked the prophet to go preach to the evil Ninevites. Jonah
instead ran away -- right into the belly of the fish. <br />
<br />
Why did Jonah run? Simple. He knew God might be merciful and Jonah wanted
the Ninevites dead both in this world and perhaps the next.<br />
<br />
Once apprehended by the great fish, Jonah did go and preach, "Yet three
days and <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Nineveh</st1:place></st1:city>
will be destroyed." But <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Nineveh</st1:place></st1:city>
repented, God relented and Jonah watched from outside of town. Jonah not only
took the potential death of the Ninevites lightly, he was very upset when the
vine which gave him shade was struck by a worm and died. Jonah complained, "I
wish I could die."<br />
<br />
Consider Jonah's way of thinking. He trivialized the death of the Ninevites,
wanting their destruction because he simply didn't like them. He didn't see
that he put the human lives of the Ninevite people on a lower place than the
"death" of his shade tree. And he further trivialized dying when, simply
because he was hot and didn't get his way, he said, "I want to die."
Anyone trivialized death this way?<br />
<br />
Our world similarly trivializes dying. We see in the news (or on a movie)
many people die. Perhaps we think some deserve it, and maybe they do, but we
much too quickly accept the deaths of many. Those deaths were human souls with
families in pain. When we think the TV dramas are right and the grief is
short-lived, we make their death trivial. It is not. <br />
<br />
We have two companion truths.<br />
<br />
First, death is real, hurts deeply and stays with us. We do not recover when
we trivialize or underestimate death's power. When someone we love dies, the
hurt comes with the separation. The hurt lasts and might revisit us with
powerful and unexpected bouts of grief. Unlike a TV show the pain won't be gone
in an hour.<br />
<br />
But, second, we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can</i> handle death
and once again experience joy. Christians see by the Bible that death is a
defeated enemy. Though death truly hurts, it is just one part of our life.
Perhaps our faith guides us, or we celebrate the life we shared. But we are
built with resilience. We can make it.<br />
<br />
If you must play "Trivial Pursuit" don't take death as a category.
You won't ever come out on top<span style="font-family: Arial;">. <o:p></o:p></span>Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-22442859408241898012013-02-27T09:46:00.003-08:002013-02-27T09:46:34.989-08:00Signs of Spring -- Tournaments.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Chaplains at Altru Health System do weekday one-minute
devotionals which can be accessed by calling 701-780-3300.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m doing mine on “Signs of Spring” during
the week of February 25 to March 1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
third one is below.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
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<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Take a moment to pauses and reflect …</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>About
Spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The signs of spring, like the
grey snow which will eventually give way to green grass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seed catalogs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, today, the sign of spring is basketball
tournaments.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, basketball.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Maybe you
are a big “March Madness” fan, the college basketball tournament.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I am referring to where real basketball
is played – in high school, where no one has big contracts and players play
because they love the game or their community.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And where fans cheer even if their team is constantly losing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
basketball tournaments point to the end of the indoor season and of
winter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once the tournaments track and
baseball are played in and around the mud of spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many players, or even fans, regret the end of
the tournament.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That escitement is hard
to beat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that joy ending just leaves
room for another to start.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Golf, anyone?</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The sports
seasons, just like the seasons of the year, remind us of the constant change of
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One activity is completed, but
another begins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our children leave home
and then we greet grandchildren.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Seasons, all unique, come to each of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Though we might have a favorite, each season is special and brings
something new to enjoy along with a challenge or two.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Embrace the change; embrace the seasons with
joy.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let us
pray, “God thank-you for spring, but also for summer and winter and fall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank-you for youth and middle age and
childhood and retirement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Help us to
discover the joy of each season of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In your name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amen.”</div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-43426114152389912422013-02-26T05:23:00.001-08:002013-02-26T05:23:36.591-08:00SIgns of Spring -- Seed Catalogs
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> The
Chaplains at Altru Health System record a one minute devotional each weekday
which can be accessed at 701-780-3300.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Below is the second of my week’s worth of “Signs of Spring” for the week
of February 25-March 1.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Take a moment to pause and reflect … <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>About<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>About the signs of spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
makes us think about spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That grey snow
reminds us winter is ending and the green grass will poke through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> that</i>
reminds me of another sign of spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Seed catalogs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the snow melts
gardener’s minds turn to putting seeds into the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mom always looked through those catalogs
and bought tomato, and other <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>seeds to
plant in her greenhouse long before the snow actually melted or the ground was
warm enough to plant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I think that is
called expectation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So the seed
catalogs tell a promise of spring and hope for a harvest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No concept is more
basic to life than sowing and reaping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Plant something, and it grows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To
harvest, you must first plant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you
cannot harvest tomatoes by only planting turnups.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As you look
forward to spring, or to the next season in your life, what are you picking out
to plant?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Azaleas for the flower bed,
carrots and tomatoes for the garden, and maybe some gratitude and forgiveness
in your personal life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What you plant,
you will harvest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pick out something
good from the seed catalog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It is winter, but spring is coming!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></i>Let
us pray: “God, as we look to plant our gardens, we ask you to plant good things
in our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Help us to choose good
things to plant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In your name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amen.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-14203676689386568822013-02-25T12:34:00.001-08:002013-02-25T12:34:34.537-08:00Signs of Spring
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Chaplains
at Altru Health System do weekday one-minute devotionals which can be accessed
by calling 701-780-3300.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m doing mine
on “Signs of Spring” during the week of February 25 to March 1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first one is below.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Take a
moment to pauses and reflect …</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>About
Spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not spring yet, but we can
see it coming from here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And isn’t that
part of the joy of spring – the anticipation?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So let me give you some signs of spring.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let’s start
with this sign of Spring:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>dirty
snow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The beauty of a snowflake is
created around a speck of dust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Who
knew what a speck of dust could create?)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When the snow begins to melt, even a little, the dust begins to show,
drawing more heat and we get dirty, grey snow.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Already the
power of the sun is increasing and the snow melts even on below-freezing
days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know we easily, and probably,
will again get some nice white stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the new snow will also begin to turn grey, telling us the season
will soon move from winter to spring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So often in
life, we see grey before we find green.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We have to wade through some trouble before the better arrives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When things around are grey, anticipate some
green to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It’s still winter, but spring is coming.</i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let us
pray, “O God, you who created the earth and the seasons, thank-you for the
promise of good things to come – whether spring or heaven or joys on this
earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need your promise as we see
all the grey around us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In your name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Amen.”</div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-38208362627960545572013-02-05T14:15:00.002-08:002013-02-05T14:15:58.302-08:00Self-Consciousness<h2 align="center" dir="ltr">
Word for the Day</h2>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Today's Word: self-consciousness</div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
The patient was dying. When the team of nurses and social workers
(and me, their student chaplain) talked during morning rounds this was clear.
The patient was not responding and several family members were gathered around.
The chaplain should stop by, I reasoned, so I headed to the room. This was my
first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE). </div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
I stopped by to visit and met a wonderful family and heard stories of
an active and unique woman. I became quite interested in the family and stopped
by several times that day. Overnight the patient died. The family didn't ask for
a chaplain. Later I was told (quite kindly I should say) that I stopped too
often and was actually intrusive. That was hard to hear, yet I consider that
experience very important and (aside from the discomfort I brought to this
family) I am glad it happened.</div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
What made me an intrusion that day? </div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
I know part of the problem was my experience in coming into the lives
of people I didn't know. I have learned better questions to ask and how to bring
a calm presence. I also know part of the problem is the ability to listen. I
expect I should easily discerned the family was coping well and a simple, "I'm
available if you need something" would have bee a good way to end my initial
visit.</div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
I now know my intrusive visits were about self-consciousness. I mean
that literally. When I entered that hospital room I was quite conscious of my own fears
and indecisiveness, of my feelings and hopes. I became enamored with this
woman's story, but even that was about me and not her or her family. Put another
way, when I visited the experience was all about me. If I had tried to be as
conscious of the patient and family as of myself, everything would have turned
out differently.</div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
I learned a lesson in that unit of CPE which goes like this. When
with a patient it's about him/her. Afterward is a time to reflect and then it is
all about me. During the visit the focus is on the patient and personal
self-consciousness gets in the way of making the visit helpful in meeting their
needs. Only after the visit comes a time to reflect on the person, but also on
myself. Why did I act like I did? What caused the feelings I had? What do I
learn about myself for next time? Self-consciousness can also get in the way of
personal reflection, hindering me from hearing criticism or facing the truth
about myself. </div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
A couple of thoughts about overcoming self-consciousness..</div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
1. Know your agenda. We all have personal agendas and there is
nothing evil about them. But, when hidden, agendas can be a problem. Know your
what's on yours.</div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
2. Reflect often. Before going to see someone think about yourself.
What is going on that might divert from focusing on the other person (as true
for my spouse as for my patients)? Reflect afterward about what happened and
why. </div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
3. Have someone you can talk to and to whom you will listen. I am
grateful for my manager who gently explained my error and walked with me through
it. We all need several someones with whom we can be honest and to whom we give
permission to be honest with us. </div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
4. Determine to focus on the other. The three ideas above will help,
but it still remains a choice, occasionally a hard choice. </div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr">
Philosopher Rene Descarte said "Cogito, ergo sum" or "I think,
therefore I am." We humans need to be conscious of our life and existence. But
once we know, the next and harder step is to be aware of others.</div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-16957974390615684372013-01-24T06:14:00.002-08:002013-01-24T06:14:43.522-08:00Giving the Gift of Openness<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Word for the Day<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Today’s Word:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Open.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A few days back we experienced a storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What the winter weather really amounted to was a lot of wind, some ice and a flake or two of snow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>None-the-less it was a good evening to stay at home for my wife and I, along with a college son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As with most of the “storms” over the years we planned to watch some kind of movie, stay warm and enjoy one another. However the storm affected out power, so that the power would go off for a moment and then back on, repeating every few minutes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In our day of modern technology we have “satellite TV” so the movie was one we would “rent” from … well, from wherever satellite TV comes from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when the power would flicker, our satellite would reset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can still see the words on the screen, “Just a few more minutes,” as the satellite was reconnected and our television was synchronized with the satellite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This process took a few minutes, just like the message said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About the time it was done and our movie was back on the power flickered off, again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This happened several times so that we never really saw our movie at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was annoying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, when I talked to others the next day about the “storm” I shared how annoyed I felt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One of the people I saw next day was one of our hospice patients.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We “small talked” about the weather and the storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His power had flickered as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I shared my annoyance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, my movie was ruined!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes,” he said, “I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time the power would go out my oxygen would go out too.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He pointed to concentrator which pumped the oxygen through clear plastic tubing to help his compromised lungs breathe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Suddenly I wasn’t as annoyed about missing my movie.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This has happened to me many times over the years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m annoyed about some little thing in my life which didn’t work out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I miss, or almost miss, the genuine challenge in someone else’s experience.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I think the first many times this happened I committed myself to change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would notice others more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would see their troubles and feel their hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And maybe that helped, for a bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it still seemed I missed things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lots of things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t be this super-chaplain I wanted to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We humans are created in a special way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have skin and muscle on the outside though which no one can see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So no one can know what we are thinking or feeling, not entirely anyway, unless we tell them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no “super-human” power of perception.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone might say, “God can show us.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Certainly true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that’s God, not us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We still miss it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We still miss what God says.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So I’ve come to a new conclusion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two, actually.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>First, don’t deny annoyances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just keep them in perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was annoying to miss the movie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I shouldn’t make it bigger than it was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I make it bigger when I have to tell everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It annoyed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s over.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Second, be open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Until now, it wouldn’t have occurred to me what frustration power outages would be for folks with oxygen concentrators.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But somehow I need to come to every person realizing I cannot see through them to know what they are thinking or the frustrations or hurts which have come their way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I can do is look them in the eye, ask some pertinent questions (“How did the power outage affect you?” would be a good start in this case), and listen with an open and "unannoyed" mind. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As I walk with people in hospice or hospital care – or just in life, I’ve come to realize that no one wants a super-chaplain or any super-human to visit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They don’t want me to be able to see through them and know their thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe they would be annoyed if I could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They just want someone who will listen to their story, who will care and will travel along with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, that’s something I can do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-87354559601191138662013-01-07T10:53:00.000-08:002013-01-07T10:53:38.596-08:00<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Word for the Day</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today’s Word:
Hearing. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My
Christmas was not much different from that of many people. Lots of things to eat and a bunch of gifts to
open and everyone wants to see how the littlest enjoy their presents. We enjoyed games like “Awkward Family Photos”
and talked about Christmases from times past.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No, my
Christmas is like many, except in one way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I narrate
the Holmes Live Nativity. Come with me,
in your imagination, to a big steel building with a dirt floor originally made
as a horse arena. On one side is a
wooden “stable” with a lighted star above.
On either side of the stable are pens, one for some sheep and another
for some calves. With anywhere from 100
to 400 people watching and listening I read the story from the biblical books of
Luke and Matthew. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Joseph and
Mary come to the stable where she sits on a bale of hay and holds the “newborn
king” (just a doll with the cold temperatures).
As I read the shepherds, wise men and the angels all move about the
scene until they are all gathered up front, surrounding Joseph and Mary and the
babe in the manger. Songs are sung,
climaxing in “Silent Night” at the very end.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I enjoy
doing the narration and qualify for the position because I am the loudest in my
church. I have bragged that children or
distracting noises cannot overcome my vocal power. However, I had never met <i>this </i>calf.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His owner
called the four-month-old calf a “runt” but you wouldn’t know that by the sound
of the moo. And, on our first showing on
Sunday, he mooed. At first I tried to
talk over him. But no one could hear my
voice because the “runt” drowned me out.
I moved over and looked the calf in the eye and he stopped, for a
moment. Finally I had to just talk in
between the moos. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought
about how to shut the calf’s mouth or to intimidate the animal somehow so it
would know to keep quiet. But I forgot
in the busy moments between showings and started the next one without noticing
… the quiet. The calf was silent.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His owner
had given him some hay. I don’t know
what I had thought – that something was wrong with the calf, or it missed the
herd, or what. But it hadn’t occurred to
me that the calf was simply hungry. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wow, I
wonder how many other needs I have missed over the years (and I don’t mean runt
calves)? What might look like anger is
really depression. What seems to be
pride is really poor self esteem. The
“moo” might not mean what I think. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This brings a couple of things to mind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First, I
ought to measure my response carefully.
If I might be wrong about the source of the “moo,” I need to be careful
and thoughtful about how I respond. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Second, I
wonder what kind of “mooing” people might hear from me. I think I’m clear, but what kind of
sounds do others hear? What do they
think I’m saying? Does my "moo" drown out their voice?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Third,
“hearing” is more than the vibration of my ear drum. Hearing involves thinking, asking questions
and looking to others to help find answers. Let's not settle for the easy first answer. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In this new
year, listen closely. What might sound
like just another moo might be a hidden need, a new story or just something
needing your attention. </div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-15759551778895346562012-12-26T11:42:00.001-08:002012-12-26T11:42:26.301-08:00<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b>Advent Thought<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
Today's Word: Resilience</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
In hospice we are often tempted to
give the easy and wrong answer. Something like …</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
“It will be fine.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
Of course not all things will be
fine. Even, and maybe especially, in the midst of joyful holiday times like
Christmas people struggle and hurt. At times we all do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
I love the Christmas story. In my
home are several nativity scenes. But I’m always reminded of what happened <i>after
</i>Jesus was born in a manger amid angels and shepherds and magi. King Herod,
angry and afraid for his position, murdered all the children under two years of
age in <st1:city w:st="on">Bethlehem</st1:city>
hoping to destroy the “newborn king.” My nativity scenes remind me of Good News
<i>and</i> of pain. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
A phrase haunts me from the King
Herod part of the story, a quote from the Old Testament prophet Jeremiah who
says, “A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning; Rachel weeping
for her children and refusing to be comforted because they are no more.” </div>
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That’s the phrase: “refusing to be
comforted.” Try telling the parents of Bethlehem, “It will be fine.” This Christmas season
we are dramatically reminded with the tragic and senseless slaughter of
children and adults in <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Newtown</st1:city>,
<st1:state w:st="on">Connecticut</st1:state></st1:place>. What could comfort
these families? Wouldn’t they also “refuse to be comforted”? </div>
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Our nation will, and should, seek
ways to prevent these things. We want to understand what makes a killer and how
to prevent it. My few words can’t do those things. All I can do is remind us
all of a couple of truths.</div>
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There is always pain, often
tragically so: from <st1:city w:st="on">Newtown</st1:city>
to the time of the Nativity and even back to the beginning when Cain killed Abel at the
creation. We always need to recognize the reality of hurt in our world. Many of
us have pain in our own lives.</div>
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But, there is also always joy. For
those who face tragedy joy comes neither quickly or easily. I would never try to tell the <st1:city w:st="on">Newtown</st1:city> families or the parents in <st1:city w:st="on">Bethlehem</st1:city>, “Hey you will have joy.” That's no different than saying "It will be fine." But joy
will come, even there. I’ve seen mourning folks go from crying to laughing and
back to weeping in an instant. The crying may dominate at first but humans are created to
be resilient and can “bounce back and adapt”** to new circumstances, even tough
or tragic ones. </div>
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Like many of you I will hug my
grandkids a little more this year. I will continue to watch the funny Christmas
movies and do all the trivial and enjoyable things of the holiday but also
appreciate the relationships I have and acknowledge the pain of life.</div>
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No, life will not be “fine” but
there will be joy. And joy is better. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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**”Bounce back and adapt” is a phrase used by Red River Resilience,
a group which works to create community resilience. Check <a href="http://redriverresilience.com/">redriverresilience.com</a> for more
information on resilience.</div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-63691975712989729802012-12-26T11:36:00.002-08:002012-12-26T11:36:36.384-08:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Word for the Day (Advent #3)</span></b></div>
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Today’s Word: <i>Story.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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Hey, do you watch the Christmas
specials? Maybe you like the animated
Frosty or Rudolph. My kids, when they
were kids, enjoyed the “Claymation Christmas.”
</div>
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There are
the classic stories in movies like “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “Miracle on <st1:street w:st="on">34<sup>th</sup> Street</st1:street>”
(I like the original) or “Elf” (a more recent classic).</div>
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Of course
the season is full of stories, starting with the one for which the season is
named. At our home we read that story
every year and try to visit about it just a little bit. We ask questions like “Which character in the
nativity would you like to be?”</div>
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And, of
course, there is Santa Claus. You might
think a chaplain doesn’t like Santa Claus.
Oh, Santa is fine, though the materialism and extreme debt might not be
so good. But do you know the original
story of Santa Claus? Check it out and
tell that story about a man named <span lang="EN">Saint
Nicholas of Myra (fourth century Christian Bishop). He was a great gift giver to the poor and his
legend includes paying dowries for three daughters of a devout and poor family
so the three would not be tempted to be prostitutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN"> Yes, there are stories. But you have them too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN"> One of my great privileges is to
hear the stories of the patients I serve.
What marvelous stories! And how
important to tell those stories. These
stories make up our lives much more than the things we own or do. Telling these stories is our way of bringing
the past to the present and into the future.
And listening to the stories of another person is the most affirming and
honoring thing we can do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12pt;"> So tell your
stories. Don’t wait until Christmas or
some sad family gathering. Tell your
stories now. Laugh and cry about what
strange turns life has taken. </span>Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-12549242786953691772012-12-26T11:32:00.000-08:002012-12-26T11:32:08.210-08:00<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Word for the Day (Advent)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Today’s
Word: <i>Balance.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i> </i>Do you ever watch
gymnastics? Perhaps you (like me) watch
the gymnasts when the Olympics come around.
Or, maybe, you have a child who does gymnastics or did so yourself.</div>
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The sheer
athletic ability is what impresses me. I
see a man do the “iron cross” on the rings and I am amazed at the strength
needed. But I see how that is done. Or when I see a petite woman/girl do a
twisting, turning vault it’s fantastic.
But I see how they accomplish it.
</div>
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The balance
beam is another thing. Here is a four
inch piece of wood, which most of us would have trouble just standing upon, and
this athlete is jumping and running and landing back on her feet. It looks like torture to land like that and
dangerous if you miss even a little bit. The incredible balance needed is
unbelievable. </div>
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Hey life
takes balance too.</div>
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Even our
bodies need the right balance of chemicals and nutrients. If we have too much of one thing and not
enough of another we can get sick. We
could die. </div>
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But I’m no
doctor. And this is a word during our
season of “Advent” which means “coming.”
For Christians it is the time they think of Christ’s first coming. And it’s a sign that the Christmas holiday is
soon upon us.</div>
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Does anyone
need a little balance in their Christmas?
I sure do.</div>
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I like
candy divinity, good leftover ham sandwiches and lots of the things my wife
Betty dreams up to make. But I need to
find a balance between enjoying those wonderful goodies and eating “well.” If I overdo, the “stuffed” feeling and the
sleepy fog in my head after overeating takes the fun away. Balance.</div>
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There’s
lots of places balance is important. We
need to balance our time between being with our family or friends and being
alone and quiet. We need balance between
our time of celebration and quiet visiting.
I even need to seek the right balance between time off and work – either
extreme isn’t good.</div>
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How would
you end the following sentence? “During
Christmas I have just too much …. “ Or
maybe the opposite, “During Christmas I just don’t have enough of … “ If there is something in your life which is
just overdone, make your goal to bring balance right there. If something isn’t present enough, balance
might require some addition. </div>
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Human
beings don’t do well with extremes. We
need balance physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. Just like the poor young lady who falls off
the balance beam, losing our balance in life can hurt. Let’s do what we can to avoid that. </div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5750086785568987961.post-31467999346042313742012-12-26T11:30:00.002-08:002012-12-26T11:30:45.587-08:00<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Word for the Day (Advent)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Today’s
Word: <i>Ready.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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We hear the
question all the time these days, don’t we?
</div>
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<i>“Are
you ready for Christmas?” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Of course that means a host of
things. Is the tree up and the house
decorated? Do you have your presents
bought, the menu ready for the family gathering and times figured out when the
whole family can be together? You know,
just typing those questions got me tired. That doesn’t seem quite right. Perhaps being “ready” means more than
wrapping paper, lights and sufficient fattening food. </div>
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We could take a clue from our
patients. Most of them are also look
forward to Christmas and hope to be ready.
But many can’t shop or wrap or write Christmas cards. They just want to see the people they
love. They want to be “ready” by being
able to visit with their family, their friends, or their faith family. Everything else is secondary. </div>
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Hmmm. Maybe we should rethink getting ready. How about the following?</div>
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<i>1. Get enough rest.</i> I remember working hard to get everything
“ready” for my children to come one Christmas.
But I was so tired that … well, you fill in the blank. Don’t do it.
Get rest so you can enjoy.</div>
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<i>2. Be people centered.</i> Do what helps the relationships and
visiting. Find ways to care about
others. The “together” is the best part,
right?</div>
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<i>3. Leave lots of free time.</i> We certainly should plan some events (hey,
who wants to come out to the Live Nativity I narrate?). But it takes even more planning to simply set
aside free time. Free to be with family. Perhaps free to be alone for a bit. </div>
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<i>4. The devil is in the details.</i> He really is!
Don’t let some details destroy your time together. Who cares if we forgot to defrost the
turkey? Pizza is good and we’re together. </div>
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<i>5. Have fun.</i> One of the greatest mistakes we make during
the holidays is to put our expectations too high. That gift we give won’t be as cool as we
think. The ones we open won’t change our
lives. There may not be an
extra-ordinary time of family sharing (we can’t control that). So just have fun, laugh and let the
opportunities for good stuff just come as they may.</div>
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6. <i>Repeat after me: I am not personally responsible for the
Christmas joy of others. </i> (You are
only responsible for yourself.) Yes, we
love, serve, help and encourage others.
But we can’t have Christmas spirit for them any more than we can breathe
for them. </div>
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So, are you ready? If that question makes you nervous, maybe you
ought to re-think just what you are getting ready for!</div>
Ellingsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01144505417873810797noreply@blogger.com0